Everything You Need to Know About Divorce Mediation

When seeking methods to dissolve your marriage, it may come as a surprise that there are numerous ways to divorce. Divorce mediation is a type of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) for separation, which means divorce mediation vs. litigation are significantly different.

Here’s how divorce mediation compares to other common separation options.

1. Traditional (Litigated) Divorce. Also referred to as contested divorce. This usually requires multiple court proceedings to discuss child custody, alimony, and more. A litigated divorce can take more than a year to conclude.
2. Collaborative Divorce. This type of divorce requires both spouses to retain a divorce attorney fluent in collaborative law, so each spouse and their attorney can negotiate in four-way meetings. Collaborative divorce allows each party to consult with joint experts, like joint financial planners, though the attorneys must withdraw from the case if both spouses cannot agree.
3. Divorce Arbitration. This type of separation requires both spouses to hire one neutral attorney that acts as a private judge for their unresolved issues. The arbitrator has the power to make the same decisions as a judge, and the arbitrator’s decisions are binding. Arbitration hearings often occur much faster than in the regular family court system.
4. Divorce Mediation. This type of divorce does not require either spouse to retain an attorney, but the parties are each welcome to bring their attorney to offer them legal advice. This typically encourages both parties to work with a neutral mediator to reach a final agreement. With the help of a mediator, couples entering divorce mediation can avoid discussing private family matters in a public family court and more discreetly dissolve their marriage.

Mediation has become the more attractive separation option for numerous reasons, primarily because it’s more private than litigated divorce and more cost-friendly than collaborative divorce. Likewise, mediation empowers couples to make their own decisions outside of the courtroom, whereas litigation and arbitration leaves critical family matters in the hands of a third-party.

Mediation Pros and Cons

There are several benefits of a private mediation divorce process, namely that the discussion related to the separation remains truly private. Aside from the mediator, each spouse, and potentially each spouse’s attorneys or necessary experts, no members of the public are involved with the personal and financial details that influence divorce decisions.

Other pros of mediation include:

• Divorce mediation costs less. Traditional divorce may cost two to ten times more than mediation.
• Neutral party for negotiations. A neutral mediator can help ensure civil, collaborative decision-making.
• Retain power over the divorce terms. Ultimately, the parties must reach a final agreement. The Mediator does not have the power to decide the terms of the marital settlement agreement.
• Informal and flexible process. Mediation sessions are scheduled around each spouse’s availability and provide adequate time for dispute resolution.
• Less time-consuming than litigation. Divorce mediation allows a couple to file Consent Decree, which can be finalized much quicker.

Of course, there are situations when divorce mediation is not recommended. Here are a few cons of mediation to also consider:

• Potential to negotiate unrepresented. Couples who do not retain a divorce attorney to attend mediation with them will each need to negotiate on their own behalf as the Mediator must remain neutral and cannot offer legal advice.
• Requirement of equal cooperation. Both spouses must commit to attending mediation prepared to discuss settlement. This means being both mentally ready to resolve the divorce and having all the knowledge about the marital community necessary to reach an agreement.
• Not suitable for a power imbalance. Mediation relies on trust and truthfulness, so spouses should retain an attorney in cases in which there may be a power imbalance, that is where either may be uncomfortable advocating on their own behalf.
• Active participation in the divorce. Mediation requires full engagement. Each party must come to the mediation prepared to discuss settlement. They must have an idea of how they would like to resolve the issues and know the information necessary to help them make that decision. Otherwise, the mediation may not be successful.

How the Divorce Mediation Process Works

One of the major perks of divorce mediation is that it allows you to adapt the process to best fit your needs. For instance, couples in the midst of divorce litigation may enter mediation to resolve their issues without heading to family court. On the other hand, some couples opt for mediation first—and will not retain an attorney—to amicably resolve their issues and dissolve their marriage.

When entering mediation, you should anticipate a bit of homework on your end. This can include, reviewing the needs of your children, reviewing the financial state of the marital community, writing your mediation memorandum, and potentially attending multiple mediation sessions. If both parties are prepared for mediation, full agreements can be reached in one session. However, it is possible there may be a need to schedule additional sessions.